I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
