remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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