yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
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