Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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