I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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