I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize