What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
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i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
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Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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