I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
