if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize