I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
