That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Randomize
