Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
