Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
