I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
