Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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