I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Randomize
