I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
