Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Randomize
