There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
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