Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
