if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
