why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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