Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
