Your mouth is God's brothel.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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