But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
