So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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