Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
