Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
