last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
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