Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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