I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
