I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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