what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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