She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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