I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
