I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
soo... how was my night?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
