Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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