Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Randomize
