Got a toothbrush?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
