porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
