You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
