office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
