Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
