Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
