you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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