so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
there is glitter all over my balls
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