I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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