I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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