if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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