Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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