You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
