I heard we made out
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
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