She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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