I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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