a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
