he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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