idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
