I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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