I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
