Having a random hookup so left but love u
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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