If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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