If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
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