I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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