the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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