I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
