I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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