dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
