you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
