Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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